On December 1st, 2010, Dave, Grace, and I went to the midwives office for my 39 week pregnancy check-up. We knew that since Darren had not yet arrived, we would be talking about our options. The week before we had an ultrasound that showed he was a big baby – over 9 pounds. He was also seen as being in position for delivery.
At this appointment, the midwife still thought my belly looked strange and thought he was not in the right position. After another quick ultrasound, he was shown to be transverse. Because of that and his weight, we went ahead with the c-section plan. At the end of this 39 week appointment, we were scheduling a c-section for the very next day!
Less than 24 hours after my appointment we were in the surgery room, getting my belly cut open, and very quickly welcoming our son into the world. Right before they took me in, they did another ultrasound to check on his position. Apparently, if he had moved into normal delivery position, they may not have gone through with the c-section. He had a surprise for us all. He was breech! Silly little boy didn’t like to do what he was supposed to do and kept flipping himself around those last couple of weeks.
During the c-section, I was obviously numbed up and couldn’t see anything going on. I laid there, a little uncomfortable with breathing due to laying flat on my back, and just thinking about what was going on. The doctor and nurses told me that I would not feel anything more than some pressure from the whole procedure. At one point I felt something and I was unsure what it was. I asked, “Have you started yet?” The doctor and nurses all laughed and said yes in a way that made me feel like they had been at it for a while already. That was good!
My overall reaction to a c-section has stayed the same: It’s creepy. I didn’t have much time to learn about c-sections and I did not Google it the night before – partly out of lack of time (less than 24 hours notice) and because I was creeped out at the idea of having my stomach cut open to deliver my son.
C-sections are a lot different from normal delivery. I didn’t experience any bit of normal labor – no contractions, no water breaking, etc. During the birth of our daughter, I had a mirror pulled out at the last minute and I was able to watch her birth. I was and am still a little sad about not being able to see my son being born. It was also strange to know the day he would be born. Even while waking up that morning and getting ready and arriving at the hospital, I just kept thinking how strange it was to know that I was going to the hospital feeling perfectly fine (as much as possible at that point) and would be holding my son just a couple hours later.
The C-section has left me with my baby boy, a scar, baby belly, some pain… and the thoughts and questions of if I want to have anymore children. I turned down getting my tubes tied along with the c-section and I’m still glad that I did. However, I no longer know if I want to be pregnant and have the possibility of another c-section. I know some women have multiple ones but some of the little reading I have done scares me away from it all. Maybe I’ll think differently once I’m completely healed and a little back to normal. Who knows. For now, I’ll just enjoy my son and the family I have.