It’s time for yet another edition of the one and only (ok, maybe not the only but shhh) Raw Review!
Raw starts off with Teddy Long coming out. That’s strange. He says he is here because he can be and that tonight he is going to take over Raw. The Raw GM chimes in and Cole quotes “Get out of my ring! Get out of my ring now!” Teddy says Smackdown vs. Raw this Sunday at Bragging Rights and asks for the trophy to be brought out. The Raw GM chimes in again and Cole quotes “Get out of my ring or else.” Teddy Long says he’ll show you “or else”. The GM chimes in a few more times and Teddy Long says the Raw GM will be disconnected and he shuts the computer. Teddy introduces team Smackdown (Big Show, Edge, Alberto Del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, and Rey Mysterio).
The Miz and Alex Riley come out and Miz delivers the “Really?” He says it looks like Smurf Village grew up next to a nuclear power plant. Miz says he is RAWs team captain and that Raw will win Bragging Rights. He then goes on and introduces his team (CM Punk, John Morrison, Santino Marella, his personal pick, Ezekiel Jackson, and Sheamus). Miz says “get out of our ring” and then team RAW heads to the ring and a brawl is on. Team Raw heads out of the ring and Miz tells them to wait till Sunday. Big Show says he gets it, its RAWs ring and Smackdown will leave it willingly as long as Miz agrees to face Big Show tonight in a one on one captain vs. captain match. Cole and Lawler told Teddy Long to go away and he did (carrying the computer – I don’t think we were supposed to notice that…)
A recap is shown of Cena vs. Miz last week before we cut to commercial.
When RAW comes back from commercial, it’s match time!
MATCH: THE HART DYNASTY VS. DREW MCINTYRE & CODY RHODES
Results: Rhodes & McIntrye win
Sad to see the Hart Dynasty coming to an end, I have to say that much. They finally get a good tag team and they rip them apart.
Backstage, Orton is with Cena. Orton says they should lay all cards on the table. He knows Cena doesn’t like his situation with Barrett, but he knows Cena will do what Barrett says. Orton says if Cena gets in his way at Bragging Rights, he’ll have no problem punting him and putting him out of his misery. Cena says if Orton even thinks of trying to kick him with that leg, he’ll break it off.
MATCH: Goldust (with Aksana) vs. Zack Ryder
Results: Goldust wins
Not rating matches that are ten seconds long. Dibiase attacked Goldust but Aksana ran off with the Million Dollar Belt and Maryse chased after her. That distracted Dibiase and Goldust hit his curtain call on Dibiase.
Backstage, Nexus is with Cena. Barrett tells Cena to test Harris and McGillicuty everything he has and to test them. Then he asks for a glass of water.
We get some backstage footage of RAW guest host Bobb’e J. Thompson playing Smackdown vs. Raw 2011. The Miz comes in and tells him to give Big Show a message that he has a big surprise for him. Big Show comes in and the host tells him to knock Miz out tonight.
Cena delivers some water to Wade Barrett. Barrett takes a sip and throws the water in Barrett’s face.
MATCH: John Cena & Randy Orton vs. Husky Harris & Michael McGillicutty
Results: Cena & Orton win
Nexus came out onto the ramp during the match. Good match overall, Cena and Orton make a good team, I have to say. Cena offers a handshake to Orton. Barrett says “don’t you dare” and orders Cena to step out of the ring. Cena gets out of the ring and goes by the announce tables. Nexus surrounds the ring. It becomes a 4 on one beat down. Orton tries to fight back but Nexus keep control. Cena looked like he was crying. Everyone hits their finishers on Orton and Wade orders Cena into the ring. Barrett orders Cena to hit an Attitude Adjustment but then changes his mind and says he doesn’t want Cena stealing his spotlight and to give Orton to him. Barrett hits his finisher on Orton and they all leave Orton broken in the ring.
Vickie Guererro comes out and introduces Dolph Ziggler. It’s interesting to see everyone from Smackdown here tonight. Dolph talks about how great Vickie is and Daniel Bryan comes out. He says he can do a lot better than Vickie even though he doesn’t have the looks like Dolph or the peroxide filled hair. He says he has the ability to make Dolph tap out and he proposes a match at Bragging Rights. Dolph asks why wait until Sunday and slaps Daniel Bryan. Vickie stands in the way but Bryan darts around her and attacks Dolph. He throws Dolph into a submission and Dolph taps out. A bunch of divas come out and surround Vickie. They throw glitter on her (that’s effective…) and Vickie runs out crying. Really? The girls surround Daniel Bryan and he starts dancing with them. Where’s the Godfather when you need him? Sigh… right, PG… I forgot *frowny-face*.
MATCH: Natalya Neidhart vs. Alicia Fox
Results: Natalya wins with the sharpshooter
Oh no… Lay-cool came out after the ½ a star match. They insult Canada with stereotypes and then say the Harts don’t belong in the Hall of Fame, but the Looney bin. They attack Natalya and throw her in the sharpshooter. Natalya reverses it and fights back and Lay-Cool gets out of there.
Backstage, Teddy Long and Big Show reveal that the entire Smackdown locker room is there.
Backstage, Barrett goes up to Cena and tells him he’s not finished with him yet and he’s not finished with Orton.
Bobb’e J. Thompson is in the ring to introduce the Big Show. Wow, this kid does better mic work than just about every other guest host. Big Show comes out with the entire Smackdown roster. When Miz comes out, he brings the entire RAW locker room. You know what this means – a brawl is going to take place involving everyone.
MATCH: Big Show vs. the Miz
Teddy Long came out and stopped the match and changed it to a Smackdown vs. Raw battle royal.
MATCH: Smackdown vs. Raw battle Royal
Results: Team Smackdown wins
Ratings: N/A – not rating this scrambled cluster of a match.
Only good thing worth noting was Edge eliminating Swagger in order to eliminate two guys from RAW. In response, Swagger pulled Edge out of the ring (under the bottom rope) and threw him in an ankle lock for a bit. At the end of the match, Edge came back in and eliminated Sheamus for the win.
Backstage, Wade Barrett talks about winning the title. David Otunga rolls his eyes. Barrett orders Cena to raise his hand and Cena does before walking off. Barrett keeps his hand raised as the show ends.
This week’s Slammy award goes to: John Cena for his teamwork with Orton tonight, I found that match to be the only decent thing about the entire show.
Overall Show Rating: 4 out of 10
Last week’s rating: 8 out of 10 – this should tell you something, guys. Good matches and good promos make for a good show.